So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize