I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
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