Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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