is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
