Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
