The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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