Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
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