I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
