Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
i out mim tonsoeep
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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