i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
