Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
