cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
