She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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