You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Randomize
