So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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