You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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