She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
