Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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