i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
My day in three words: secret purse cake
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
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