I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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