thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
