She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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