I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
