And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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