Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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