Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Success! We fucked roommates!
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
