I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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