So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
You need Xanax blowdarts
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
