Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
