I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
