Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I don't deserve a penis
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
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