Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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