Umm I'm too high to move.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
That accounts for only three of the penises
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
