Buhtt sex?
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
