Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
