We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
