I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize