so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
