alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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