I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
