Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
