the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
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