Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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