her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
