the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
