i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
