i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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