Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
