They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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