I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
