she looked like the bat from fern gully.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
