After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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