I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
