it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
