and my herpes radar will keep us safe
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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