med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
