Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
