I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
