I will die if light touches me.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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