They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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