My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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