"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Randomize
