Got a toothbrush?
only if we run a train.
done.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
