How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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