my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
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