She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Dick very happy bro
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
