she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
