I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
