Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Randomize