Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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