All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
