If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Randomize