VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Randomize
