I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize